Thanksgiving is a time meant for gathering, gratitude, and joy, but it can also be stressful when family members are not getting along. You might have some relatives who refuse to come together, and that can cast a shadow on your holiday plans. It’s a reality many people face, but there are ways to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally to create a peaceful and happy day despite the challenges.
1. Let Go of Expectations
One of the biggest sources of stress is the expectation that Thanksgiving should look a certain way: everyone gathered around the table, smiling, and getting along perfectly. However, that’s not always realistic. Accepting that your holiday might not fit this ideal can free you from disappointment. Focus instead on creating meaningful moments with the people who are present and making the best of your time with them.
2. Acknowledge Your Feelings
If you feel sadness, frustration, or disappointment about the family members who aren’t attending, allow yourself to feel that. It’s normal to grieve the loss of an ideal family gathering. Once you acknowledge those feelings, you can release them instead of letting them linger and affect the rest of your day. This emotional release can create space for gratitude and joy.
3. Set Boundaries Early
Family dynamics can be complicated, especially during the holidays. It’s important to know your limits and be clear about them. If a particular conversation topic or behavior triggers conflict, kindly but firmly communicate those boundaries ahead of time. Let family members know what’s off-limits for discussion and what you need to feel comfortable with. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but it helps avoid unnecessary tension.
4. Consider Smaller Gatherings
If a large family gathering is unrealistic or could cause too much strain, consider hosting smaller, separate events. You could celebrate with one side of the family on Thanksgiving and another the day after, or host a smaller dinner with close relatives or friends. This can help everyone enjoy the holiday without the pressure of bringing together conflicting personalities.
5. Focus on Gratitude
Thanksgiving is all about gratitude, and you can still cultivate that, even in difficult circumstances. Shift your focus from what’s missing to what you have. Perhaps a few family members won’t be there, but who will be there? What moments or traditions can you still enjoy? By emphasizing gratitude, you can shift the energy of the day and feel more at peace.
6. Manage Your Own Emotions
It’s easy to let other people’s behaviors dictate how you feel, but remember: you are in control of your own emotional experience. If family members choose not to attend or if there’s unresolved tension, that doesn’t mean your holiday has to be ruined. Practice grounding techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or journaling to stay centered, calm, and in control of your reactions.
7. Create New Traditions
If family members aren’t attending due to conflict, consider starting new traditions that reflect the current situation. You might plan a fun activity with the family or friends who are present, such as a gratitude walk, a board game night, or a group reflection on what you’re thankful for. Embracing new traditions can reduce the focus on what’s missing and add joy to the day.
8. Seek Support if Needed
If family tensions are particularly high, it’s okay to seek support. Reach out to a friend or a coach to talk through your feelings. Sometimes, an outside perspective can help you see things differently and provide tools to navigate the situation. Don’t hesitate to prioritize your own well-being, even if it means leaning on someone else for support.
9. Embrace Imperfection
At the end of the day, no family is perfect, and no holiday has to be either. The most important thing is that you approach the day with an open heart and the intention to create peace and joy, even if things don’t go as planned. The holidays are an opportunity for growth, reflection, and healing—even when they look different than expected.
Navigating family conflict during the holidays can be tough, but with some preparation, boundaries, and a focus on gratitude, you can create a Thanksgiving that’s meaningful and happy. Remember, it’s not about the perfect family gathering—it’s about appreciating what you have and making the best of the moment.
Thanksgiving Day, a beloved holiday celebrated in Canada, the United States and a few other countries around the world, is a time when families and friends gather to share a meal and express gratitude for the blessings in their lives. While all countries don’t celebrate Thanksgiving on the same day, the essence of the holiday remains the same: giving thanks. But why limit the practice of gratitude to just one day a year?
Here’s a little background about the significance of Canadian and American Thanksgiving Days along with some benefits of cultivating the power of gratitude and ways you can make gratitude a part of your daily life.
Canadian Thanksgiving: A Time for Harvest
In Canada, Thanksgiving falls on the second Monday of October, and it’s a celebration deeply rooted in the country’s agricultural history. Historically, it marked the end of the harvest season when families would come together to give thanks for the bountiful crops that would sustain them through the long, harsh winter.
American Thanksgiving: Pilgrims, Peace, and Unity
Across the border in the United States, Thanksgiving is observed on the fourth Thursday of November. It traces its origins to the Pilgrims, who, in 1621, shared a feast with Native Americans to celebrate a successful harvest. This event is seen as a symbol of peace, unity, and cooperation between two distinct cultures.
The Power of Gratitude
All Thanksgiving Days share a common theme: gratitude. Expressing thanks for the blessings in our lives is a powerful practice that can bring numerous benefits including:
1. Improved Mental Health: Research has shown that practicing gratitude can lead to increased feelings of happiness and reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety. When we focus on what we have rather than what we lack, we foster a positive mindset.
2. Stronger Relationships: Gratitude strengthens relationships by making us more appreciative of our loved ones. Expressing gratitude to others can deepen bonds and create a sense of mutual respect and affection.
3. Resilience: Grateful individuals tend to be more resilient in the face of challenges. When we acknowledge our blessings, we gain perspective and can better cope with adversity.
4. Health Benefits: Studies suggest that gratitude may have physical health benefits, such as improved sleep, reduced blood pressure, and a stronger immune system. A grateful heart can lead to a healthier life.
Cultivating Gratitude Year-Round
The beauty of gratitude is that it can be practiced every day, not just on Thanksgiving. Here are some ways to make gratitude a part of your daily life:
1. Keep a Gratitude Journal: Dedicate a few minutes each day to jot down three things you’re grateful for. This simple practice can help you focus on the positives in your life.
2. Express Thanks to Others: Don’t hesitate to express your appreciation to the people who make a difference in your life. A heartfelt “thank you” can go a long way.
3. Volunteer and Give Back: Giving your time and resources to help others can foster gratitude and a sense of purpose.
4. Mindfulness and Meditation: Mindfulness practices can help you stay present and appreciative of the moment, allowing you to recognize the beauty in everyday life.
5. Count Your Blessings: Regularly remind yourself of the things you are grateful for. This can be as simple as a mental exercise during your daily commute.
Thanksgiving Days remind us of the power of gratitude. While these holidays provide an excellent opportunity to come together with loved ones and express thanks, let’s not limit our practice of gratitude to just one day a year. By cultivating gratitude year-round, we can lead happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives. So, as you enjoy your Thanksgiving feast this year, remember that gratitude is a gift you can unwrap every day.
Valentine’s Day is often associated with feelings of love, joy, and excitement. Yet, for many, this day may be a difficult reminder of the loss of a loved one, a life without companionship or a reminder of a past painful relationship. This day may also trigger current relationship issues.
Whether it’s because of a loss, a recent breakup, the never-ending search for companionship, or relationship challenges, Valentine’s Day can be a difficult day to endure.
If you’re feeling lonely and/or unhappy this Valentine’s Day, here are a few things you can do to bring more joy to your day.
1. Connect with your emotions and let them flow.
If Valentine’s Day is not a happy day for you, it’s important to remember that it’s okay to feel whatever you feel. Give yourself permission to connect with your emotions and let them flow. Don’t bottle them up or suppress them. Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel without judging yourself.
Your emotions provide you with valuable insight into yourself and your relationships. By taking the time to connect with them and by letting them flow, you can gain more clarity and understanding about your own emotions and needs.
Writing down your thoughts and feelings will further support you in understanding yourself better. This will also help you process your emotions, giving you an opportunity to heal and move forward.
So, take a few moments to reflect and acknowledge your feelings, and write them down.
2. Reach out to a friend or loved one.
Instead of letting this day bring you down, why not reach out to a friend or loved one? Show them your appreciation and gratitude for being there for you, no matter what. It’s a great way to remind yourself of the positive relationships in your life and to focus on the love that does still exist in your world.
3. Celebrate yourself and take some time for self-care.
If you find yourself feeling down as a result of your loss or unmet expectations of love, then it’s especially important to celebrate yourself and take some time for self-care.
Make a list of all the things that make you unique and special. Spend some time doing the things you love and that make you feel happy, alive, and energized. It can be anything from taking a walk, reading a good book, or dancing to your favorite music to trying out a new recipe, or taking part in a hobby, or having a relaxing bath.
Even if it’s just for a few minutes, focusing on self-love and self-appreciation while taking the time to do something just for you can help to reduce stress, lift your spirits, and lead you into an inner state of joy.
4. Let yourself be vulnerable with someone you trust.
A great way to heal your heart is to open it up to someone you trust. This may be a friend, a family member, or even a counselor or coach. Letting yourself be vulnerable with someone can help you process and work through the difficult emotions associated with Valentine’s Day. Even if it doesn’t seem easy, it’s worth it.
Allowing yourself to be vulnerable in front of another person can be a powerful step toward healing and experiencing the love that you desire and deserve.
5. Practice gratitude and focus on the positives.
It’s easy to feel disappointed on Valentine’s Day if you feel alone or lack the love and affection you want. But in spite of this, there are still ways to make this day positive.
One way is to practice gratitude and focus on the positives. From the people you love to the small things that make your life easier, take a moment to recognize the good things in your life and appreciate them. This will help you feel more joy and contentment.
Despite the commercialization of Valentine’s Day, it can still be a meaningful and special day for those who are widowed, in relationships and those who are single. It’s important to remember that you have the power within you to create a joyful life and fulfilling relationships.
Valentine’s Day can still be a happy time, despite its traditional associations, if you choose to make it so.
Much has been written about the power of gratitude and yet it is so misunderstood. Giving thanks is not just about making a long list of things you would not wish to be without. It is about truly appreciating all the blessings in your life including what you may consider as not so great.
How many of you give thanks when you lose a job or when something doesn’t turn out as you had planned or expected. When these situations arise, many of you go into despair wondering what you did wrong or you worry about how you are going to handle it all.
No matter what happens in your life, it is all in Divine Order.
There is never a need for you to beat yourself up or tell yourself, “If only I did this or that, things would have turned out differently.” You are on a journey of remembering who you are and EVERYTHING you experience in your life is an opportunity to remember more and more.
When things are not working out the way you had hoped or if a situation happens that you would call unfortunate or sad or unpleasant, we invite you to give thanks for ALL of it, trusting that it is serving a purpose in bringing you closer and closer to your truth.
Rather than say, “Why me?” or “Why is this happening to me” with a feeling of despair, give thanks and then ask from your heart and soul, “Show me what this situation is here to teach me. How can this situation lead me closer to my heart’s desires and to my True Self?”
You can only give thanks for what may at first appear to be unfortunate circumstances when you KNOW and TRUST deep within your heart and soul that things are not how they appear and no matter what happens in your life, it can all lead you to more peace, joy, love and abundance but only if you are willing to see the Truth and focus on giving thanks and looking for the good in everything.
Marisa’s Musings
I’ve certainly done my share of beating myself up when things in my life didn’t go as I had planned or hoped for. I’ve often made myself wrong in these situations because I really believed things would have turned out differently if I had done things differently. Even though this may be true, I now understand that it doesn’t mean I did anything wrong.
The truth is that I always did the best that I could with the knowledge and tools that I had at the time and telling myself that I “should” or “shouldn’t” have done this or that only made me spiral into deeper and deeper feelings of despair.
As much as I still find it challenging at times to give thanks for things that show up in my life that are not what I really want, I’m getting better and better at looking for the blessing in ALL things and giving thanks with a deeper knowing that everything can be transformed into something good.
With all the bad press out there bombarding us with news, images and videos about all the horrible things people are doing to one another around the world, let’s remember that there are people everywhere who, in the past and in the present, reach out to others in need and spread love, not hate or fear.
The problem is, we don’t often hear about the good news, only the bad. When we get caught up in the negative stories shared through multi-media channels, it often has a negative effect on us. We might find ourselves judging others who are being portrayed as the protagonists or we might feel depressed or fearful about how the events in the world might cause us, or those we love, to suffer in some way.
You’ve probably heard the expression, “What You Focus On Expands.” If you believe this to be true, I invite you to be mindful of how you feel when you watch or read the news. If you notice yourself feeling anxious, angry or judgmental towards others, remind yourself that if you choose to focus on these negative thoughts and feelings, you’ll attract more negativity into your life and your relationships.
Fortunately, we get to choose what to focus on. This doesn’t mean we’ll never feel any negative emotions or have negative thoughts. Nor does it mean we should suppress these thoughts or feelings. What it means is that as soon as we become aware of what we’re focusing on, we can make a conscious choice to simply observe our thoughts and feelings rather than grabbing a hold of them and spiraling downwards. We can also choose to turn our attention to something more positive and uplifting.
If you think there’s nothing positive going on around you, think of a few things you are truly grateful for. Gratitude has a way of lifting our Spirits and making us feel better.
When we feel good on the inside, we pass this positive energy onto those around us, causing a ripple effect.
