We all have a father. Some of us know our fathers and some of us don’t. Some of us have happy memories about our fathers and enjoy spending time with them and some of us don’t.
Some of us look forward to having a Happy Father’s Day with our fathers and for some of us, Father’s Day brings up a lot of painful memories that we’d rather forget.
Some of us love our fathers and can make a list of all the wonderful things he’s done for us and some of us hate our fathers and can make a list of all the terrible things he’s done to us.
No matter how your father treated you as a child, and how he may still be treating you as an adult, the truth is, he did the best he could and, if he is still alive, he is continuing to do his best even if it may not look like it at all.
If your father was disapproving, abusive or absent from your life, you may be thinking there’s NO WAY this was the best he could do as a parent, and it’s totally understandable to feel this way.
Changing Your Perspective
I invite you, however, to look at your father from a new perspective. Take a moment to look past your painful memories, shift your focus, and look more deeply into your father’s life. You may learn things you never knew before.
Perhaps your father also had a disapproving, abusive, or absent father and never had any role models showing him how to be a loving father. Or, he may have suffered in other ways as a child and carried this suffering into his adult life, unconsciously projecting it onto you.
The way your father treats or treated you actually has NOTHING to do with you at all and EVERYTHING to do with him. As a child, you may have interpreted your father’s actions towards you as meaning you’re not good enough, or lovable or smart or “fill in the blank.”
If thinking about your father makes you feel sad, angry, resentful, or any other unpleasant emotion, this means you carried your past painful experiences, (and what you made them mean), into your adult life. Maybe you blame your father for everything that isn’t working in your life today.
By holding on to your anger, hurt, or rage towards your father, whether he’s dead or alive, your life is ruled by your past, causing you to continue to suffer and stopping you from having the life and relationships you truly desire.
There is only one way to free yourself from this endless suffering and it is to FORGIVE!
I’m sure you’ve heard this before and if you’ve turned away from this by telling yourself that your father doesn’t deserve forgiveness, you really don’t understand what forgiveness is all about.
Forgiveness Does NOT Mean You Are Letting Someone “Off The Hook”
It doesn’t mean that what your father did or didn’t do was okay or that what he said or didn’t say to you was acceptable. Forgiveness sets YOU free so that you will no longer carry the burden of the past with you each and every day.
If you truly desire to create happy, peaceful, and loving relationships with ANYONE, it begins with forgiving those who hurt you, including your father.
If you’re open to the possibility of forgiving your father, but you don’t know where to begin, I invite you to schedule a complimentary Relationship Renewal Breakthrough Session with me.
Together we can uncover any blocks that might be getting in your way and you’ll walk away with some practical strategies that can support you in breaking free from these blocks so they no longer hold you back from experiencing more peace, love, and joy.
If this Father’s Day is a painful one for you, let it be your last.
You have the power within you to experience Father’s Day with pleasure.